Takanashi Kiara🐔『MIRAGE』NEW SONG OUT NOW!


Tegan🌿💭🐔🗿👧💄🐱🍵


るるらっきー☄🐻💿⚒🌸🐔ファンユーザー


are coming up next week


um


in the later half of next week


and


for my next 3D Live the extra 1 that I got besides my birthday 1 or 1 time only


the 1 that was already delayed once which messed up a lot


of things and the stage had to be completely redone


I I really just thought that the Old Stage the other day and I was like man


so good like such a waste because like I'm already


I already made or like they already made up of by my request


uh because we're currently also working on the birthday 1 they already made the birthday 1 and


I was like


I just made like all the plans for the Easter 1


oh God I said Easter


uh spring


no the problem with me saying that is that I kind of swallowed up


well


so anyway I was planning both of them


at the same time and the 1 for spring


is like


the the late 1 right


and I feel like I have trouble coming up with interesting


overall themes and Stage creams but the overall theme usually is reflected in the stage


like I look at other members stuff like what they come up with


I say like too often


but like she I look at what they come up with and like I oh my God stop the just the other day I had a had a little recording for someone else's


upcoming live I had several recently I had 1 um like 2 days ago or 3 days ago I don't know


and then another 1 liter on the day remember literally on a day when I arrived in Japan


last time


like the last time I arrived in Japan


on the same day I had another recording for someone else's live


like everybody has like really interesting


ideas and Concepts and the way trumpets into the stage is really cool and I noticed too that for example my first cover for the live I didn't give much


Direction


I didn't really have much ideas and inspiration and I just hoped that they would come up with something good but I will say I was like low-key disappointed in what I got back then


um because it wasn't much like when you look at what they can do if you give them Direction it's very different


um


and then the the 1 after that was uh I think the 1


the 1 that


uh yeah was it was my next birthday life which was super delayed


um the 1 where I did like the great wonder and so on I think


uh and that stage design also I think was still


pretty simple wait no wait


is that the same live somewhere in my brain I'm separating it is that the same life as the 1


that


had


uh


okay brain empty


and blanking right now


is that the same 1


that had you know me singing aren't those 2 Separate Lives


the 1 where I did that work is that the same life where I did the


where I revealed my rash


I also see


I can


help me


yeah Maria


help me care and the great Wonder those are separate right


so how many pretty likes are going to happen until now


and the year after that


the 1 that was made by K was 2021 right


and the 2022 I have a birthday life which was half a year delayed


and that was like in November


which is where I did Lori gaming right and the great 1 there are


right and then that so that was 2022 November 8th okay and 223


no it wasn't that was not 2022 I guess and 22 22 it doesn't because of Corona I don't know fuck


fuck okay can I now can okay can I was 2022 and 2023 November was the 1 where I did like the Great War on the right and so on


and then 2024


it was a birthday life that was also delayed and that was in September it was delayed like to be more of an anniversary life because it ended up in September right


that's the 1 where I did um


yeah the magia and the German song Blue and clowns Etc and Mirage


right yeah that should be it


and that was


and so for that 1 I I gave more direction for the stages there that I did for the other ones and I could tell that the result is way more satisfying and way more interesting than when I give less Direction I'm just trying to leave it to them


um and then but then even then even then when I look at what the others come up with I'm like oh wow this is possible like


usually when you start planning this stuff you have to choose the stage as a base


um


like 1 of the existing stages


like the EM stage or the ID stage or the there are several JP stages and you choose from them but like the countdown stage there's like 2 countdown stages or so you choose from them and then you're like on top of this I want this and this and this and this but some members managed to come up with themes and Concepts


where you can't even tell them what's which stage they're dancing because it just looks like a completely new original thing you know what I mean


oh my God holy mother


yeah and then I look at that and I'm like oh my God that's allowed like because like the there's like it's not so clear like how far 1 can go


how much can I ask for and how much


is like feasible but even if I wanted something more intricate I don't know what I would want you know


yeah


so I wish I had so many creative ideas sometimes I just want to ask you guys but then I kind of spoiler you that I'm working on something you know


but um so then I had this amazing idea that I was so happy with for the like winter 1 the extra slot that was going to be in end of 2024 and they already finished it and it looked so good and I was like yeah thank God I had like a more


like a better more intricate concept that I thought of for for once because it became such an a nice result


and I was like fuck now I have to rethink everything and this is being scrapped


and I will say I do think for the upcoming 1 the the completely New Concept that I came up with I chose that specific specific time frame


only for the reason that it gave me a concept naturally that I could work with


um I'm not just pulling something out of my ass like a lot of the other members do uh which I am amazed by


I wish I could do that I'm just using the the season


um


oh yeah the volcano what the fuck I had a volcano what did I really have that


anyway um yeah thanks to the thanks to it being like again seasoned specific I um ended up being able to come up with an interesting theme and it became a nice looking


stage honestly it doesn't look like a stage anymore again there we have it that's the thing where I was like some members come up with


things that make it look like it's not even the original stage anymore and it just looks like a completely separate world and I'm like how do they do it but I ended up doing this too you will see and understand when you see it


but


for this upcoming 1


that used up all of my brain juices and I couldn't come up with anything interesting


for the birthday 1 I'll be honest


I'll be honest but I honestly I'm I'm fine with that


because I don't I for me the focus is on the performances the participating members the songs Etc the singing um I think the stage doesn't need to be something


like completely mind-blowing it would be cool but it doesn't need to be I like it simple too


but then I look at what the others do and I'm like fuck why didn't I think of this why didn't I pick up something like this


damn


what the heck


and now it's too late it's too late I mean


it's still in the creation place and and I'm still like adding some like objects or like I'm hoping to add something I'm like guys staff stuff is on can you come up with anything anything extra to add to this because right now it's rather simple


and


like it needs more but I don't know what please just


add anything but like if I don't give direct instructions


it's like


nothing much comes out of this I've noticed


yeah but whatever it's fine whatever I don't care I wish I wish that my birthday was in winter


because then I could just reuse the


the stages and I was scrapped


but in Prior I could move my birthday life to Winter


but I'm not doing that this time because for once I have my birthday on time


so


well


it's okay


it will be simple for the birthday 1 but the upcoming 1 honestly the upcoming 1 is crazy that's why I wanted to talk to you guys because you don't understand how crazy this would be there you're I already gonna mention that there will be a lot of participants right


right which drives up the cost


insanely actually never thought it could cost as much


um


yeah uh but like you guys gonna


be mindful usually usually so here's also a thing like usually I um


usually I always go for


um English songs mostly


but like I try to get in as many English songs as possible into


um my set list


for these things


um but for this upcoming 1 I also told you it has a very specific theme


which is why the songs


will not be in English


um and


so unfortunately subtitles are old


as you may have heard before


but there also won't be any subtitles but it doesn't matter the songs are really really nice but it's not it's not a I mean I I wish you guys could also understand the meanings of some of the songs


but


it's more about the performances anyway you guys don't need to understand what these songs mean you don't need to know


audio changed


oh I must have like


I don't know the Wi-Fi


the Wi-Fi most of suddenly done something with my mic with the yeah whatever


I don't change anything


it's the Wi-Fi


yeah it's okay even if I was okay


I hope so


I mean


I was looking into it


I was kind of begging them


cuz it's going to be pretty much like every song is going to be Japanese except for


um my new original song that will be


there


wow wow that's so much better oh my God chill


how bad was it before Xbox mic


all right all right


yeah I mean I could yeah I could put Japanese subtitles but like that doesn't help you guys and it will just drive up my cost because I have to pay for


ibra I make it myself or pay a professional but then also it has to be sent to the um


song creators and approved by them


and that just sounds like a process that could take out a while and be very annoying


and then something about like hard Subs that are like in the footage


something with that being like not allowed or something like that uh I don't know I think like translations


being hard subbed is not allowed or so


like there's some law or I don't know it's like pretty serious


yeah


but then it's a live stream you know I can't like I could use the YouTube CeCe you know but in the live stream know I can't


not beforehand


only afterwards so but then most people only watch it once like when it's live


so what's the point of adding in the afterwards right so like


so I was just like whatever probably just


don't need


it


it would get in the way of my screenshots


yeah you know I I sometimes I see um I was just thinking of the really simple subtitles that are on the bottom of the screen in a simple font I wasn't even thinking of the fancy ones but sometimes the fancy ones are nice too when I look at other girls's lives um


but that cost extra and I'm trying to


trying to keep the cost down


as much as I can and I I like it's simple anyway I feel like honestly the fancy Subs they also kind of low-key ruin the immersion in my opinion and there's just too much going on on the screen I want you guys to focus on


the coral the performance because I'm very like dance focused anyway so


I don't want to


add too much like bling bling on the screen


real weeps watch it wrong


I'm just talking about anime huh


it just looks busy


are you going to use new Idol outfits well well well


of course I will


so much


variety of course I'm going to use it


um what else was I gonna say oh yeah


uh so I still have like


so much to learn so I still have to learn so many songs and like


a lot of it I have a lot of it I decided to learn on my own


because it's like existing Correos anyway


the dance teachers are not coming up with anything new in particular for


these songs


so um I'm doing like


I'm just learning it on my own for the songs that I'm doing alone


and


um what was I gonna say oh yeah


it's just a lot I I I I feel like like


I'm very used to learning dances on my own anyway


um


it's maybe a little bit easier with a


teacher breaking it down but I'm again kind of trying to save cost


because like dance lessons will cost money


so trying my best


but I'm a little I'm a little bit panicky right now


try to learn 1 thing today


1 Song


um and


it's going okay thankfully the moves are


pretty repetitive and


yeah it's a bit funky though some moves are a bit funky


um Frugal Joel


but then I noticed like sometimes I don't know


on when this happens like maybe I didn't stretch properly or is it


just


how my body feels today does it have to do with my breathing whatever sometimes like today I will notice like my chest hurts


like it's like there's um


the sensation of


um


how to say


stabby stabbing into my chest


it really hurts


when I try to like it's when I try to work out like dancing


there's a really distinct


stabbing sharp feeling


uh and I had that today and I made it pretty painful to dance


I'm not sure I have that sometimes I don't know why probably just


probably


maybe if


I stretched more maybe it wouldn't have happened because I I barely stretched today because like I don't know I'm still just like trying to learn the moves um from scratch very like very roughly at first


so there's no no real need to stretch that much but honestly I should but I was kind of I didn't have so much time so I tried to save time but not stretching


on but yeah


no it's not regular muscle pain at all it's like a if I I mean I never had a heart attack so I don't know how that feels but I would just like instinctively I would say like oh I'm about to have a heart attack which of course I'm not having a heart attack but


you know what I mean instinctively it's like oh my God


oh my God


but to be honest like generally my my cold and everything is gone but I've


physically I'm not in a good condition right now to be honest


I don't want to like


talk too much about it but yeah um


there's some


some shit


yeah then I'm dealing with physically I'm not doing so well


um


I was thinking of going to a doctor in Japan but I'm like no no no


I don't like the father of that


it's scary


like


I started looking


through some like first I was looking for some English-speaking doctors and then I read some um


reviews and then some of it was like oh the doctor was very condescending and so on I'm like fuck that


fuck that


but then I don't know how comfortable I feel with


going to a non even though I speak fluent Japanese I just feel like someone speaking English


I would feel more comfortable there just because it feels closer to home you know what I mean


like otherwise it feels so foreign and


and


foreign in in a literal sense like


like alien you know what I mean


I just don't feel comfortable and


no it's okay it's it's like I'm not in the best condition but like I'm fine


um


I'm okay I can handle I've I've handled worse


I've had sharp chest pains come and go on occasion yeah same same same like sometimes my condition will be totally fine


and then today was 1 of those days


at the


you could ask for I did


I've been asking around like a few people


oh but uh the tour and muscle thing that I talked about a while ago that 1's gone


yippee


that 1's been gone for a while


hi we're going to cause chest wall inflammation


what


I'm not sure how that's supposed to feel


I don't know fiber can do that


the Rocky Point I had to explain to someone what occupy is the other day I think it was Kubo


she thought she had walkie pie I was like no you don't you don't have occupied walkie pie is really um it doesn't actually work but it doesn't matter you don't have to have boobs for it really but it's like occupy is really just about


the cut of your shirt or whatever


there has to be a big enough opening


on the side under the under the


um


underarms


so that you can see under the pit so that you can see the line of the boob even if it's a small 1 there should be a line


and that's occupied


it's not just having boobs or so under the pit


it has like


it cannot be covered by cloves it's usually it means that


the the the cut where anyway who cares why am I saying this


no occupy is not armpit armpit is wacky


see I guess some of you guys needed to hear this too


no


armpit is lucky


lucky pie is a combination of wacky which is armpit and opa which is boobs


so it's the view


from like a relatively open cut shirt or dress or whatever


um from the side like being like being able to see the line of the boob on the side


under the pit armpit


okay whatever who cares


side side oh my God thank God there is a word for that it's side boob thank you


literally just side boob


yeah wa has really strong side boob occupy


you care you care wow


mhm mhm


good


yeah I'm actually I kind of am messing up dates the whole time I I realized I'm leaving Japan 1 day earlier than I thought I was and I realized oh I'm moving to the streaming apartment 1 day earlier than I thought I was like why is everything so


like wrong in my brain


so it turns out tomorrow I'm moving into the streaming apartment and it turns out it's therefore most likely


not the CC1


I I got that wrong I think


but so I wrote to CC I'm like hey I I think I'm not taking over your


uh apartment after all


and she's like oh no but I I I spread my hairs everywhere for you and I'm like well can you just like collect them all and turn them into a flower bouquet and give it to me like that she's like okay deal it's a joke of course


it's joke


huh huh huh


I'm so glad I


you know when Justice debuted


debuted


I I I mean this is not for any particular reason because I I'm just generally always unsure about this because I don't think you can really know but I was like


not sure who or if at all I could get along with


um


but that's that's just like you know you don't know you don't know them so how can you know


although like for Advent I


I had some expectations of who I would get along with


Tegan🌿💭🐔🗿👧💄🐱🍵


and


I feel like


I feel like that


partially like partially that expectation was wrong like I got along more of


a 1 that I wasn't expecting for example more than the other also


not saying that I didn't get along with somebody but you know more with 1 than the other


and like I expected and yeah with justice anyway I I really wasn't sure I was hoping to get along with everybody but I I couldn't really


couldn't really


imagine


yeah now I feel like


I get along with all of them


yeah in the beginning I I I remember like before Justice


even the beauty after they got introduced to us and after I found out who's like


whose uh from my continent I um


or like who lives in my continent supposedly


supposedly because uh those are some country names I've never heard of before


but I I immediately thought I should try my best to get along with them


because


we could do some cool stuff together


as we are from the same region


and so I wanted to do like a European Prime Time Podcast with them


and


I offered it to them before um they debuted and they were not sure about it probably didn't really feel like committing


which is okay um


but that's why it never happened it never happened


um you never know though for the future


but uh


at the time I thought you know I should I I I would hope I would get along with


the time zone sharing people


but uh now I just get along with everybody know I think like I ended up like


uh


just from the type of character


like personality I immediately felt like oh giggy is someone who I would watch


I really love her energy because it's so easy to like collab with


I love energetic people


for collabs


and I don't know if my character design also yeah


and just her vibe but everybody loves geeky


and


yeah then then I that's surprisingly close


and I don't know I didn't just I just didn't expect it that much that also it would happen so fast


but yeah it's probably


I don't know is it because I met her before


the others before I met the others I mean


like earlier than I met the others


is it because of that didn't I already kind of


get along with her before we met in Japan


I don't know


but now I would say I'm like closest with na


I think me and Loba have been connecting and bonding a lot


um


you know


kind of giving each other


the support that we both need


being there for each other


so


I really appreciate what I have with her


I really


bonded with everybody though


like it's crazy how much fun I have with herb for example


and I've been like chit chatting a lot with CeCe too when we met up like here and there but surprisingly the 1 that before meeting up


in Japan the 1 that I was


like so like getting along with so well online geeky is the 1 that I ended up doing the least with meeting the least and talking to the least sadly


it's just kind of


ended up like that


she was rarely in my vicinity


and I'm sad about that and when she was then usually CeCe was there and usually they were like clinging to each other


so I kept on saying to gee when I did see her I was like


I I kind of did the least with you throughout this whole trip I kind of saw you the least and I kind of like bonded with you the least and I'm so mad about it


but even even in the short amount of time she's been very sweet and funny and open


and like like in the karaoke suddenly giving me a massage and so on


what oh oh you've heard that they're Inseparable yeah they really are


so it's like yeah like how do I get in between that


it's nice though it's nice to see like how


um


they the management how they managed to put a gen together where


it's honestly it's it reminds me a little bit of good and how they found some people of course you know they find the whole gen and


being like managing to just like coincidentally finding 2 Souls who


just get along with on that level


with each other on that level


of course they all get along right but like you see something special going on between CC and Gigi and it just reminds me of a


yeah


it was nice to see


such a


oh sweet couple


that has so much fun together


good for them


good for them but also Kiki is so popular man I I'm I've been like kind of intimidated


why didn't my chat stop moving hello


Moto


Chad


oh there you go I refreshed it


yeah did he is so popular that it intimidates me and like I think this was already before I met it already kind of intimidated me


everybody wants her so bad


and I'm like oh I'll take a step back then you know I'm subconsciously unconsciously I'm dead


I'm just like taking a step back because like I feel like


I can't even compete with all these people that want geeky so bad you know what I mean like legitimately


yeah yeah her her Riz is too strong and then everybody's raising her and I'm like fuck


fuck


I'm losing the the gige um cup


or whatever


yeah that's what she would say


must be nice man to be like so so at the geeky Bowl yeah


so wanted


like everybody


the whole branch


how how can you be so Rizzi


crazy


like I'm I


but I will continue loving her from afar


and think about what could be


but I'm


probably


more and more


fading away


and moving away well she's well she's


like kissing other people


I'm taking up a few more


but I am impressed by her is


yeah


orange angst yeah


it's Ian REO all over again well what do you mean like what what who who which uh situation are we talking about because me and Ian Reko I was just


I was just


alone


is that what you mean because I mean it's kind of true


speaking of I really like the Ian Rego booth at the Expo


the comics were so cute


I'm I'm really really happy they made an Ean REO booth


such a big 1 too


very nice


yeah yeah I was trying to like get her attention and Ian REO but like all her attention was on on Amin and if even like in the future


like I don't think she'll go for me because everybody just resists her up so hard especially because she's kind of playing the role of a a man and so all these ladies will already like fight for her


like how can I even compete


I'm not


good enough for her


yeah also cuz I'm not that good with role playing especially in English


everybody wants to Humble night yeah


I was I was kind of playing on humble nights too though I guess I was kind of like


trying to cope with not being able to raise anybody up by just saying oh I am


um loyal to my duties I'm not allowed to have


a partner


so


I shouldn't be raising up anybody anyway


it's a tragedy tragedy


yeah me and Herb


I think me and herbal now that I know her better and everything I think uh


we might


continue our loyal Knight Ark


even better next time


all even though we are serving different Queens


but in the end


I ended up


getting married right so now me and Herb should be United if this continues


like that


wonderful now we can work together


but who knows I don't I don't know if we are not just like kind of resetting everything again so to say


I don't know


I don't think we're gonna completely continue all of that


because it also kind of like


for people like me who aren't able to


insert themselves that well previously


it's kind of difficult to find an entrance anywhere you know what I mean


so a little bit of a reset


for me personally would be helpful


yeah


so this name


so


the guilds I also would I don't know either they are going to be shuffled again or they do something different I don't know


I think they'll be necessary though


I'd like to see a shuffle honestly


but yeah the people behind you in regular they're really um motivated and sweet and after the first 1 you know with any kind of project really they give us usually like some kind of survey where we tell them what we liked what we didn't like what we would like to do next time and so on and we all did that so


uh you know they always listen to our feedback


um yeah it was just me and that would out


and then we had to kind of because we on our own we just we were just lost too so we had to kind of try to like I was really in a shity place because I couldn't participate every day which already set me back in inserting myself in terms of role play and then my guild was almost non-existent


and others were existent though and had good groupings and so on that felt like set in stone


so trying to insert myself in that I tried a few times


but it always felt so forced and difficult


yeah so I just didn't have a good experience with Ian REO at all to be honest I


I was really not feeling good because of that I I mentally I felt like shit


cuz I was like man


I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here at all


like normally you would think you could just like stay with your guilt and rely on just being in that group thanks to being in the group you know like automatically but


when the group isn't there you got to find a different group


but it it worked out a few times you know like when we did that dungeon with like full and so on that that was fun


had a group for that


dungeon those pretty good


besides that I was always I always felt like I was trying to squeeze myself into


places where there was no space for me


but that's anyway a long time ago


and


therefore I will try my best to be there every day next time


every single day


yep just so that I can


have better chances at being part of everything


yeah we already were 1 member short


how the fuck what amber coin was never going to work


it was never going to work like we already were a member short and then the ones that did that existed were so inactive bro


me including of course


bro


that was really not um that was unlucky


the Amber coin which made things even more difficult for me exactly


people were like Amber coin is evil and I'm like fuck I'm just trying to


I'm just trying to find my place man


I'll get your replied


say so many people are sick Rhea is sick


now of course I like low-key feel like uh oh was it me but


you really put sunscreen on me it's too late


um but yeah so many people got sick Callie's really sick but I don't think Callie


she's listening oh my God


where is she


whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa


I don't see her in my listener list


maybe she already left


what Callie and Bae have 40 degrees fever


well I didn't have fever when I was sick at all so I think those are separate things I don't think


you know I honestly yeah I don't really think I was contagious for


the past days at all


bro


I a bit worried that like her I mean I wasn't


I wasn't too out of herb that much honestly just that cut of Orchestra and by then I highly doubt I was contagious


but you never know and honestly these kind of big events where everybody gets together


people are all people are I guess kind of they have high chances to get sick


yeah


mhm


but for Kali like when I was talking with her when I met her yesterday


she told me about her doctor visits and everything and it's just it just seems like from


the doctor's PV and also my Peavey I was like just like you probably um overworked yourself obviously


girl take a fucking break take a KitKat


like even if you think you can take on all these tasks


you you are overworked yourself constantly and maybe you should just take a break bro


chill I know it's hard to take a break when there's so many tasks on your plate


but it's like she's always adding even more things onto her plate and I I always tell her


um


yeah SOLO live and too fast and then all the extra things she was planning and


other recordings she's having and there's like a lot going on for her


constantly at all times


I always try to tell everybody honestly not just calling but Kelly in particular I'm always like


and girls need to be careful like especially if you're already sick if you already have like coughing and throat problems


if you then continue to strain your throat


you're going to end up and some of them did with something like pneumonia or have a however the fuk it's called


and have permanent lung scarring lung damage whatsoever throat damage whatsoever


when you are sick


you have to rest I mean I did some streams here and there like you know that 1 time and and in winter when I had like


all kinds of


sicknesses in 1 go but I was very careful with


what kind of stream I would allow myself to do


just trying to


really not use my throat at all


not even small noises


you have to take it seriously because this is your job


The Voice streaming talking singing all of that that's our job


and and I know I know like it's hard to take time off and and you want to like continue streaming because you need to stay like relevant I guess or I don't know it's the right word to use


uh


the consequences if you don't take the situation serious enough the consequences could be surprisingly rough


yeah keeping yourself in the algorithm and I I I also like always think about that too


I always do and stresses me out too


yeah


yeah I don't know


in the end it's everybody's own responsibility and we're all adults and they can make their own decisions but I'm just trying to


my own experience and for that from what I've seen other people go through


but in the end it's like


um


there's such a weird comparison but like


no I let's just not compare it I just people always do what they're being told not to do because they in in like any kind of situation you don't take it seriously when somebody's like oh like I experienced this and


it's not that


ideal like these kind of bad things can happen and people people just think it does it won't happen to themselves


and they just ignore possible


bad consequences


in order to experience the


like for example if you say to someone like


um like somebody who's considering becoming a YouTuber or a singer or an idol or whatever


and you're like Yeah from the outside this looks really really fun but this and this and this can happen or like what just even more generally if somebody wants to become famous and you're like


now of course everybody wants to be famous but you know what you then have to deal with uh


no more privacy


uh huge amounts of constant people constantly having people like bashing you uh stalkers Etc maybe being abused by your label


uh uh shity Cuts shity percentages


Etc people will still want to go for it


and then once they're in it they're like


oh man


this sucks


but now it's too late


but that's just human nature


it's just human nature


humans are stubborn as fuck


right


hindsight hindsight what is that


for foresight hindsight


well even though I didn't think I would be as like I don't think myth would be so successful when I joined the Holo


um with my life experience I think I was


in any case well enough prepared or like not surprised with what came after the success


so for me it's like well yeah this is just how it is this is natural all of this is natural and a natural outcome


I am not surprised


yeah yeah yeah


so this man


that's me


people should listen to you


they should


I bought something from the combini for dinner but I'm not sure if I want to eat it or if I want something else


thank you kfp let's go


you know I've been thinking


about something since they're already like in these deep topics I don't know if I should really discuss this in a Twitter space but


I've been


I don't know I been thinking


just I mean


actually just since yesterday


thinking like


fomo if I don't live in Japan


partially just because like these past days have been a lot of fun


um


but also


I know


I just have fomo


so I I I've been thinking again like is it a possibility for me


I don't know


I mean the fact that I do have


uh like I I own


a home I'm not renting it so that even if I were to rent a place in Japan


I'm not really losing money I'm not like you know cuz I already own it so in terms of like Financial


financially well I mean it's it's still kind of questionable to me because I have so much Furniture there and like what am I going to do am I going to leave it empty would I would I rent it out would I leave it empty would I if I rent it out would I get rid of my furniture would I leave it there whatever


and then in Japan I guess I would just get something furnished whatever I don't know I'm I don't know why I'm thinking about this because


the only way I would do something like that again is if I was able to bring my cats


and I'm


thinking about


again how feasible that is


but I don't


I don't really


want to drag my cats through that


even if it's just 1 day


that they have to get through


it's a very complicated um process


that leads up to it


and then


I'm scared because they're not young if they were super young


then a flight so long


would maybe not be


something to worry about but they're like 7 years old now


I don't know how they would take it


yeah yeah I heard a bunch of stories too when I first long time ago before Holo


researched all of that but then recently I hear like


from you know a couple of


people like friends


who are


like


considering


possibly


bringing


their cat


on a really long distance flight


and I'm like hey


damn I would never


I feel like I would never do that with my cats


but like


they don't seem so


worried about it concerned about it at all


that's why PewDiePie rented a whole private jet well he's got way more money than me I wish I could get a private jet for my cats yeah


I was even thinking what if I get 2 business class seats like get a lot of space


um


but it's not just like the space because like I feel worried like what 12 13 hours in a tiny box


feel bad and like the airport situation oh


yeah so I thought about that like today and yesterday and I feel like


hm I have huge promo


but when I think clearly about what what am I missing out on


it's not that much I think but it would make my life easier when it comes to like


working


in the home


like not having to fly back and forth all the time


but


at the same time you know I lived in Japan before


I was in


Halo for a while


and


I wouldn't really blame this on Japan I'm just blaming it on


the incidents that happened when I lived there a long time ago but I think I have like some trauma


connected with Japan


like my experience here


so


after I


moved back to Austria


I think I was always like pretty clear on not wanting to live in Japan anymore that I'm kind of done with that but then I did end up doing that extra working holiday because I always felt like that chapter needed a proper ending in my life


and then it was just like completely not according to plan of course


but I do think like generally


I am not sure how


healthy I can be mentally


in a place that I could uh connect a lot of trauma with


it's just so


culturally different I mean even though like I totally can blend in and adjust because I know the culture so well


well I don't know it's probably healthier for me to be in Austria and I


I realized that but then everybody's having so much fun here everybody's moving here I feel like


half half more more than half I don't know half of the end lives in Japan what the heck


and


who knows who else in the future is going to move their like people keep on


moving here


and the more people move here the more I'm getting fomo


yeah those are all legit concerns mental health and so on but then I feel like if I were to bring my cats I could withstand anything


as long as I would have my cats I think I could handle


like another year or so


and I would have a much easier time working


but honestly whatever I wouldn't do it anytime soon anyway


and it's just a a really far far distant thought


that has just been rekindled Now by Aldi


meetups that we've been having and yeah


and hearing


like having conversations with people


yeah that's also a thing like I don't after so many years of


streaming in European prime time


I


I feel like


I would never want to


like change my streaming times


to


like whatever I would stream at in Japan


because


I don't know how to what's the right word I just feel


like I don't want to fuck you guys over


after you guys have been


like supporting me so hard


in like many of you guys making time in the weirdest


times of your day many of you guys watching in the middle of the night many of you guys watching in the middle of the morning but also of course many Europeans watching


uh at a convenient time for them and I'm so grateful for that


that I have this these people watching me I wouldn't want to fuck you guys over by completely


changing everything up


so selfishly so to say


um by such a life change but there's no way that I would like be able to keep up those streaming times in Japan unless I stream


I'm not insane I'm not going to do that that's not that would never be the norm


and so that's like a big reason also why I'm thinking no I can't move their I'm not going to fuck up


a fuk over all these


viewers


that have been having my back for so many years


so even though I'm talking about this chances are extremely low anyway don't worry


I'm just having fomo


I just have huge fomo


if I if only I could just teleport my cats or if only I wasn't such a big concern


to bring them to places


but I wouldn't want to leave them behind because I would never want to do that again


and I wouldn't even know


like I guess the last time I was really lucky being able to give my cats


for 1 whole year to my roommate


that's actually extremely lucky


that she was even open to doing that


and I had such a logical solution


yeah


I don't know


of course I could also do it like Ena


and come here for like free or whatever 6 months at a time or but that's also a long a lot of time away from my cats and at that point it's like why don't I just move there you know


if I'm going to be away for that long might as well move there


for a year but


no it's


I mean


really not likely anyway I'm just I'm just telling you I have fomo


I just have fomo


why are you guys what


what are these suggestions with


herb CC


I'm not alone that's that's really not helping


me having 2 more members on my continent


doesn't really change much in the end


that that's not no no


it's not changing much


cuz the farmer is because Japan is where the parties at


and where


work would be generally easier also


because then I wouldn't have to do these 12 13 14 our flights constantly


yeah


lemonade make lemonade out of lemons yo that's so funny you say that because just today I read a tweet that lemons are not natural


so uh like we made humans made lemons


by Crossing other fruits and so the the the phrase saying that says um when life gives you lemons when life gives you lemons is


like 1 of the most inaccurate unrealistic phrases that has been absolutely overused


by people


because lemons yeah they're not real


life never gave us lemons we made lemons so it's so fucked up nobody knows that now you know


but what we could say though is when life doesn't give you lemons just make it yourself that could be quite motivating


when life doesn't just throw something at you


on its own


you are the 1 who can make it themselves because we made lemons


beautiful and with that I should probably leave it at that


I should probably leave the space at that


cuz that was beautiful


what a beautiful ending


sorry for


dragging you into my fomo just don't just forget about it just don't worry about it


I I I really just wanted to tell you how fucking


hype you guys should be for my upcoming life and how scared I am


because I still have so many coreos to learn


yeah be


so wish me luck


and look forward to it although


although recording is soon but the actual live stream will be


oh a while later


but it will be


probably


time time probably will pass quickly so


yeah I'll continue


focusing on the dances I have dance lesson tomorrow with a with a teacher


like before Christmas yeah I already kind of leaked it in this Twitter space anyway


so don't don't question it you already know


no no more Mirage shorts


you joined late is your thing


is you okay


choo choo


yeah I know there's a good reasons and bad reasons like pros and cons I know that's why it's kind of tearing me apart just thinking about it and that's why I probably should just not do it


damn it you can't have it all you just can't have it all


it's rough if only I just like lived in a closer country


where the flight wouldn't be so long if only I lived like an Indonesia if only I was Holo ID


this decision wouldn't be so hard to make


or maybe it would be because


moving to Japan is probably not the smartest economical decision for me if I were an ID


I don't know


but all these IFS


are whatever


wow a whole idea confirmed


I love them I love them so much


how does marrying Raina solve any of this


yeah I'm always surprised realizing or like I was surprised when I realized how long the flight actually is from ID to


Japan


I wouldn't become Hollow ID by marrying Raina that's not how that works


unfortunately


marrying rain is a good idea well you guys are pushing for something


trying to make it seem like it solves all my problems


get out of here get out of here I'm going to get out of here goodbye guys I will talk to you guys soon I'm trying to


not lose control


I'm trying to learn my dancers


which mean luck


give me some time


please please


thank you for watching thank you for listening


thank you thank you


thank you wow


and in German


we say


which most of you guys will not know how to write that


but it's like the equivalent


of


seeing you again but like hearing you again wow


whoa whoa alvida here


good job to the ones who did it


so proud of you


I'm freaking chicken


chicken


mind blown Hotel Trivago


そららん☄ホロライブ🪄星詠み勢


るるらっきー☄🐻💿⚒🌸🐔ファンユーザー


goodbye


good now right


yay